Today’s Horoscope…

from Astrocenter:

This may be one of those days when there are hundreds of people around you, dear Virgo, and yet you feel completely alone. For some reason, no one seems to understand your perspective. Your incredible sensitivity and emotionalism is putting you in a category of your own. Try not to ostracize yourself from the group. Reach out to others instead of pulling back away from them. You have more in common with other people than you think.

Being alone in the middle of a crowd is something I’ve always dreamed of. I experienced it more than two years ago walking down the street in Polish Town, Chicago at 5 pm. It was everything I’d hoped it would be. Gloriously anonymous in a sea of bodies, bodies who may or may not know each other. Bodies who may or may not know I was new to the area and desperately seeking The Red Apple Buffet.

Bodies.

However, the prophecy above speaks to a different kind of anonymity. A kind of anonymity I’m far too familiar with. From the 4th grade on, I lived in Ackley, Iowa and never felt more out of place. I never felt like I belonged here, even after I began to get to know people and make friends. Something about this place always rubbed me the wrong way, and made me feel like an outcast.

I wasn’t Abercrombie & Fitch material. I wasn’t a size 6. I wasn’t moderately rich enough to have all the things my peers did. I wasn’t athletic. I put an education above and beyond anything else. I didn’t care what (or who) everyone else was doing. I didn’t even get along with the other people who felt this way about high school.

Everyone knew me, whether they wanted to or not, and because I didn’t want to know anyone else I felt alone in the crowd. I felt ostracized. So I admired, sought the real anonymity of a crowded city street, apartment building, corner coffee shop. I desired to walk down a street or hallway and truly not know the people abreast of me.

From what I’d learned, most of those people sucked anyway. What was the point of getting to know them?

This passage is telling me that I have more in common with other people than I know. Yeah, I can see the similarities: a brain, a heart, and a set of eyes.

The difference? I use mine.

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