Recently, I’ve taken to reading the anonymous posts at FMyLife and My Horrible Secret. Both are sites dedicated to folks “logging in” and admitting the shitty things that have either happened to them or they’ve done to others, respectively. There are also links attached to each post. At Fmylife (FML), the “f” in the title is fairly obvious if you don’t already know, the links read: “I agree, your life is fucked” or “You deserved it”. Basically offering support to the one whose life is fucked or telling them they shouldn’t be such a jack-ass. At My Horrible Secret (MHS), the links read “Wow, you’re messed up” or “I’m just like you” allowing the “monster” writing the post to feel a little more human in their confession.
In my recent scouring, I’ve decided on a couple of things:
1) My life is truly not that bad. I may be a gay girl in the middle of Iowa with divorced parents, who doesn’t know how to drive, and nearly a hundred thousand dollars in debt (due to student loans), but I am not posting at MHS how I pluck my ingrown pubic hairs with my roommate’s tweezers because she ate my jelly. I mean, I’m just NOT living a life that messed up.
2) I’m not as mentally unstable as I thought, with my little secrets. I posted one or two to My Horrible Secret and it turns out lots of people feel the same way I do. Wow. Quite the revelation from folks looking to these sites to feel better about their situation. Then I read a comment from one poster that read “I click ‘I’m Just Like You’ on every post.” FML.
3) Based on certain posts from FML, your parents, your significant others, and perfect strangers are the worst people on the planet. They will be the first to tell you that you’re fat, make you feel stupid, or bet against your sex life. Especially when they are drunk, under the impression you can’t hear them talking, or watching you eat some of the free bread before you order. I mean, c’mon what happened to basic human decency? But I guess there is a certain charm to knowing how these people actually feel about you. Why live blissfully lied to, when you can struggle through life knowing the complete truth?
4) Reading posts from MHS, I will never, ever have a roommate I didn’t know in advance. Further, I will never trust another significant other as long as I live. Most people are disgusting freaks who need to find a better way to vent their emotions rather than take it out on the unsuspecting public, roomie, ex-girl-or-boyfriend, or random fat chick.
But can I stop reading them? No. They truly do make me feel better about the piddly-ass problems I’m facing right now. Some of them are sick and twisted, others are sad and totally wrong. Being the reader of these admissions and secrets, you get to judge them! Feel free to make the sick fuckers feel like the monsters they are, then go and tell that poor girl that her life is messed up because her mother bet her father $20 she wasn’t a virgin anymore. But like the moderators at My Horrible Secret demand, judge those people but don’t be a douche bag about it!